5. Stop believing in old wivesâ talesâbe critical
The world is full of irrational, unfounded old wivesâ tales. These days, the Internet provides us with quick and easy access to a lot of valuable informationâand a lot of junk as well: bad arguments, bad definitions, unsubstantiated claims, fallacies, emotional statements, pseudo-science, sales promotions, hidden political agendas, religious preaching, etc. Of course, in the name of freedom of expression, I believe everyone should be allowed to post whatever they like, even the purest and most refined crapâbut both you and I also have the right to disregard it. Use your critical thinking. Donât stop asking yourself, âHow can that be?â and âHow did he/she come to that conclusion?â Suspend judgment and action until you have had time to ponder on it and, if necessary, seek a second and third opinion. If the argument is sound and you like it, then do it. If the argument is sound, but you donât like it, donât do it and think more about it. If the argument is unsound, reject it and think no more about it. Make up your own mind and do what you think is right.
6. Stop caring about labelsâbe free
We are over-swamped by labels because labels sell, but they only sell if you buy them. Should you be a positive, ultra-positive, R+, R+P-, balanced, naturalistic, moralistic, conservative, realistic, progressive, clickerian or authoritarian dog owner? Stop caring about what label you should bear. When you enjoy a great moment with your dog, the label you bear is irrelevant. A label is a burden; it restricts you and takes away your freedom. Labels are for insecure people who need to hide behind an image. Believe in yourself, be the dog owner you want to be and you wonât need labels.
7. Stop caring about what others thinkâlive your life
You spend very little time with most of the people you meet, significantly more with family and close friends, but you live your whole life with yourself. So, why care about what other people think about you as a dog owner or your dogâs behavior, when you probably wonât see them again or will only ever see them sporadically? If they like you and your dog, fine. If they donât, itâs not your problem.
8. Stop complainingâdonât waste your time
You only have a problem when there is a discrepancy between the way things are and the way you expect them to be. If your expectations are realistic, try and do something about achieving them. If theyâre not, stop complaining, itâs a waste of time and energy. If you can do something about it, do it. If you canât, move on. Period.
9. Stop excusing yourselfâbe yourself
You donât have to excuse yourself or your dog for the way you are. As long as you donât bother anyone, you are both entitled to do what you like and be the way you are. You donât need to be good at anything, whether it be Obedience, Agility, Musical Free Style, Heel Work to Music, Flyball, Frisbee Dog, Earth Dog, Ski-Joring, Bike-Joring, Earthdog, Rally-O, Weight Pulling, Carting, Schutzhund, Herding, Nose Work, Therapy, Field Trials, Dock Dogs, Dog Diving, Disc Dogs, Ultimate Air Dogs, Super Retriever, Splash Dogs, Hang Time, Lure Course Racing, Sled Dog Racing or Treibball; and you donât need excuses as to why not. You donât even need to excuse the fact that your dog canât sit properly. Change what you want to change and can change. Donât waste time and energy thinking about what you donât want to, donât need to or canât change. Do whatever you and your dog enjoy so that both of you are happy. Itâs as simple as that!
10. Stop feeling badâact now
If youâre unhappy with any particular aspect of your life with your dog, do something to change it. Identify the problem, set a goal, make a plan and implement it. Feeling bad and guilty doesnât help anyoneâit doesnât help you, your dog, or the cherished ones with whom you share your life.
11. Stop your urge to ownâbe a mate
The ownership of living beings is slavery; and, thankfully, slavery is abolished. Donât regard yourself as the owner of your dog. Think of your dog as a younger and less experienced mate you are responsible for and needs your guidance. You donât own your children, your partner or your friends either.
12. Stop dependencyâuntie your self
Love has nothing to do with dependency, obsession, and craving, quite the contrary. Love your dog but donât create mutual dependency. Have a life of your own and give your dog some space. You and your dog are two independent individuals. Enjoy living together as free agents, not being addicted each other. Stop projecting yourself onto your dog.
13. Stop turning your dog into a substituteâshow respect
A dog is a dog, and it is indeed a remarkable living being. Love it, enjoy its company, but donât make it a substitute for a human partner, a friend, a child or a spouse. To expect anyone to be a substitute is the greatest disrespect you can show to a human as well as non-human animalâand to yourself. Stop letting your dog play a role for you and begin to love your dog as a dog.
14. Stop rationalizingâbe truthful
All relationships are trades: you give and you take. Thereâs nothing wrong with that as long as there is a balance. Be honest with yourself: what does your dog give you and what do you give your dog? If you find that one of you is almost solely a giver or a taker, think about it and redress the balance. Your dog needs you, just as you need your dog and thereâs nothing wrong with that, as long as you both are givers and takers. You didnât get your dog just to save the poor, little creature. You got your dog so you could both enjoy a solid and productive partnership.
15. Stop wanting what you canât haveâbe happy with what youâve got
That is a very common human characteristic: you always want what you havenât, and you are blind to all the good you do have. Your dog gives you a great deal. The two of you can be perfectly happy together, even if your dog is not particularly good at anything. Itâs amazing how dog owners say they love their dogs, and yet they spend most of the time trying to change them. Focus on what you do have, not on what you donât, appreciate it and be grateful for it.
16. Stop fighting yourselfâfollow your heart
There are many different ways of being a good dog owner, and yours is your own and different to everyone elseâs. Itâs your life. As long as you donât harm anyone, live it the way that feels good for you. Listen to experts, ponder on their advice, but, at the end of the day, do what you feel is right for you, follow your heart. Be yourself.
Life is great!